God will restore what the Locust Has Eaten

I haven't had a very good week so far.  Being sick for most of last week didn't help.  Sickness always seems to be a major downer at even the best of times.  Monday evening I had a counseling session in Grand Rapids and I used the hour drive to vent all of my frustration to God.  Thankfully I have discovered that God is a safe person to vent to. He doesn't get offended, he doesn't gossip to other people and he actually provides wise council if I stop and listen.  Sometimes this council will be in the shape of correction but that is always better than empty words and the patronizing I often get from others. 

There were a multitude of questions troubling me that night and anger was threatening to sabotage the fragile peace I have learned over the last few months.  My prayer didn't really follow a cohesive line of thought. Infact, I probably would have lost the average person with my undulating rants and staggering complaints.  It was really just an unending barrage of "why" and a litany of "issues" that I had with God; my absent husband, my abusive parents, my own parenting fears, and a steeple full of "let downs." 


The most pressing "why" of the evening was in regards to how old I am; Thirty-seven and finally, after a miserable childhood and a failed marriage, God is now deciding to repair all of my broken parts.  Why now?  Why not before I ever left my mother's home?  Why hadn't God brought some one along to rescue me before my marriage and children?  During the first tumultuous years of our marriage where were the words of wisdom, the guiding hands and the education that could have lead us on to success?  Why were we led to, and then brainwashed by a church so deficient in Biblical practicality and Christian love?  Where was the help that I prayed for on cramped and bleeding knees?  Why does it come now, twenty years later, when all seems dead and broken?  Thirty-seven years of my life stolen by the locust. How could I regain all that was lost, all the potential never realized.  Who could repay?

"That which the palmerworm hath left hath the locust eaten; and that which the locust hath left hath the canker worm eaten; and that which the canker worm hath left hath the caterpillar eaten." (Joel 1:4)

With all that hanging in the air between God and I; all that frustration and anger; I wrung out a final plea, "Why won't you just speak out loud to me God?  For once speak out, loud enough for me to hear over my rattling mass of rusted metal on wheels."  (Which only served as an unwelcome reminder of how much I hate the loud and obnoxious piece of junk I drive. Just another complaint to throw back at God.) I regret to say that I wasn't being a very thankful or obedient child that night. I realize that now. I was acting no better than the grumbling and complaining Israelites who were miraculously led out of Egypt for what should have been an eleven day trip to the promised land; Eleven days that turned into forty years because of their ungratefulness. God has spoken to me countless times in the last two years.  He has used dreams, visions, music, ministry, strangers, answered prayers and His Holy Spirit breathed scripture. "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:" (2 Tim. 3:16) I have filled almost two notebooks with all of these occasions and yet still I forget.  But God in his mercy and compassion was patient with me.

At that moment in time I wanted something different, a better perspective than what I glimpsed through gloomy eyes.  I spent the next hour and a half voicing many of those same "issues" with my counselor, ending with the same question, "Why now when I am almost halfway through my life."  At this point God began to speak through the mouth of this wise counselor he has placed in my path, "Indeed, why now? Why doesn't God wait another twenty years from now? Why doesn't he let you go through possibly a second failed marriage and spend a few more years muddling up not only your children but also your grand children's lives as well?  Why is he choosing to help you now instead of waiting?"

Well, I wasn't expecting that answer.  I guess I was hoping for some compassion, a little coddling and maybe even some commiserating about the unfairness of God.  Suddenly I found myself rendered "issue less." Why indeed? Yes time has robbed me of many blessings.  Time has slipped by seemingly without any measurable results.  But my perspective is limited.  I am bound to a constricted space of time. This forces me to measure everything by how much time is allotted and how much I perceive remains.  I measure my "success" by the fickle yard stick of culture.  I recon my worth against someone else's warped sense of value.  In my reflection I remembered that Jesus lived an ignominious life as a poor  carpenter's son for thirty years.  He had no possessions, no wife, no children and no home of his own.  All that he accomplished, all of his"success," occurred in a ministry that lasted only three years. Here I am worried about all that I think I have lost and fearful of all I may never attain, yet I know who I belong to and I know who holds the future.  Who am I to question God's will or his methods for achieving that will?   

"Woe to him who strives with his Maker! Let the potsherd strive with the potsherds of the earth! Shall the clay say to him who forms it, ‘What are you making?’ Or shall your handiwork say, ‘He has no hands’? (Isaiah 45:9)

I left the counselor's office greatly humbled.  I had been scolded just the same as if God had thundered down from heaven.  In his mercy God remembered my frame and he lovingly whispered my correction through the kindly interrogatives of my counselor rather than in the thunder of his displeasure.  

Correction accepted I went to work Tuesday morning resigned to be obedient to God's plan.  It was a very foggy trip that morning and often I was unable to see further than a car length in any direction.  I whispered a prayer that I would trust God even through the blinding fog.  I would trust that he can see when I can not and that he would faithfully lead me to his land of promise.    

That afternoon, in his mercy, God reminded me of what that promise land looks like.  Every message I heard on the radio had the same resounding theme, God will repay. He will give double for all that was lost.  In Christ I will realize the full potential of all the promises I have been given.  God will restore the years that the locust has eaten. "And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the canker worm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you." (Joel 2:25)

I remembered Job; for a season the hedge of protection was removed from his life and the Devil was allowed to steal and destroy all that he had.  But when the season was passed, when Job had grown in wisdom and stature, when God had allowed the Devil to burn out the dross in his life; Then God restored double all that had been taken. 

"Now the LORD blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning; for he had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, one thousand yoke of oxen, and one thousand female donkeys. ¹³ He also had seven sons and three daughters. ¹⁴ And he called the name of the first Jemimah, the name of the second Keziah, and the name of the third Keren-Happuch. ¹⁵ In all the land were found no women so beautiful as the daughters of Job; and their father gave them an inheritance among their brothers." (Job 42:12-15) 

Not only did Job receive double, but the beauty of his daughters exceeded that of all the woman in the land.  God gave him double in number and greater in worth and value.  Yes, thirty-seven years of my life have passed, but God promised that the latter end of my life will far out shine any glory that may have been in the former.  "The glory of this latter house shall be greater than of the former, saith the LORD of hosts: and in this place will I give peace, saith the LORD of hosts." (Haggai 2:8) On that promise I will rest, thanking God for his correction and his blessings.  I will remember that "God's in his Heaven-All's right with the world." (Pippa Passes by Robert Browning)

God Bless
Amy Warren