Don't Hold Your Brother Down!

"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit.  For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death." (Romans 8:1-2)

My husband and I had a situation to deal with this week which illustrated a great travesty in the lives of many Christians today; saved in Christ but still burdened with shame, guilt and unforgiveness.  I have always been a firm believer that the sins of our past do not define us.  "Once a __________, always a ____________," is not only untrue but a very destructive thought process. It is a natural response to feel guilt and shame for our sins but once we have repented and turned from those transgressions our shame and guilt is erased, liberating us so that we can move forward as a new man or woman. 

God said, "Come now, and let us reason together...though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool." (Isaiah 1:18) and he promises to separate us from our sins as far as the East is from the West; "as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Psalms 103:12)

Why then are we so condemning, so demeaning, so cold hearted and unforgiving to each other?  We are so aware of the offenses against ourselves, so demanding of restitution to be paid for our hearts wounds that we miss the same heart breaking wounds in our fellow brother or sister.  The truth is, when the common person sins they already feel the burden of shame and guilt in their life, it doesn't take the accusation of someone else to make it any more of a reality.  The good news; God does not treat us with such callousness, he takes infinite care in culling out the briers in our life.  God uses a supreme level of patience to lead us to repentance, he "convicts cleanly, without crushing words of shame." (Page 12, 40 Days with Jesus)  His goal is to transform us into the image of his son, not crush us down into the rubble of defeat. "For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death." (2 Cor 7:10)

"For the Lord will not cast off for ever: But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies.  For he does not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men.  To crush under his feet all the prisoners of the earth, To turn aside the right of a man before the face of the most High, To subvert a man in his cause, the Lord approves not."  Lamentations 3:31-36



All of us gather baggage throughout our journey in life; some is due to our own sin; some has been imposed on us by others. We stumble along, barely holding up under the strain of all of that baggage.  We feel it; others see it; we pay the price day by day.  Until the day we turn to God and he gently lifts away all of that baggage from our shoulders.  We are forgiven; we are set free.  Yet, like a dog returning to vomit, we pick the packs back up and carry on.  Or, our angry, wounded victims run after us strapping the shame back on to our stooped shoulders.  I have done this; I have had it done to me.  Sometimes I'm the one that can't forgive; myself or my brother, not even recognizing that is what I'm doing.  My feelings bleed down my sleeve and I flinch at every "expected" slight, believing that the "redeemed sinner" will be a "repeat offender."  How unfair.  How can they carry on when they catch my every flinch?  How that realization breaks my heart, especially when I can empathize...I have felt the same response in return.  I was the child that let my mother down (so she believed); she reminded me of my shame every day in a hundred different ways; ways that maybe she didn't even recognize, but I did.  It has followed me most of my life. 

I heard a quote recently, I can't recall it in its entirety but the relevant part is that the past is not a source of truth, it does not predict the future.  The only time it will predict the future is when we expect it to and react according to those expectations.  We expect to be wounded; we expect to be hurt so we react to shield ourselves.  Unfortunately, this makes it very hard for others to move past the shame of their past.  I want to live a liberated life, free from debilitating failures; but I also desire to see that same liberating experience for my spouse, children, brothers and sisters in the Lord.  I supremely desire to practice what I have always believed in my heart.  I do not want to tread on anyone else in order to liberate myself.  The only way I know how to accomplish this difficult task is to die out to myself.  My husband has always taught one simple truth to our children: God first, then the church, then your family, then others and finally...yourself.  If I practice that daily, pausing before I respond to people or situations, and taking caution to not give too much value to my feelings or emotions; I will be able to overcome the flinches. Then I will walk in the green pastures of God's country, hand in hand with my beloved, marveling at the flower covered mounds of the castoff baggage of yesterday.  What a beautiful sight that will be!

"What a day that will be,
When my Jesus I shall see.
And I look upon his face,
the One who saved me by His grace;
When he takes me by the hand
And leads me through the promised land,
What a day, glorious day that will be!"
(Chorus of "What A Day That Will Be" by Jim Hill)

God Bless
Amy Warren